Saturday, September 16, 2017

Women of 'The View' blame the Devil for leaving Trump's estate untouched by Irma

President Trump's tremendously unbelievable estate on the island of St. Martin in the Caribbean was left mostly unscathed from Hurricane Irma, while billionaire Richard Branson's private estate in the British Virgin Island was all shot to hell.

"I'm very lucky, very lucky," Mr. Trump said to my man in the field, Vinny Boombots. "It could've been much, much worse . . . much worse. I'm very lucky. In fact, the hurricane helped remove some of my unwanted weeds and a few of my nasty neighbors. I'm incredibly lucky. They called the hurricane 'Hurricane Irma.' I say we'd be better off naming hurricanes in a softer way. I think if we called it "Irma the Hurricane," people wouldn't be so scared," Trump opined. "Imagine the difference between 'Hurricane  Harvey' and 'Harvey the Hurricane.' It sounds nicer. I like nicer--like a cartoon character."

Trump's Chateau des Palmiers located on the French-controlled side of the island "is still standing with hardly a single roof tile lost," USA Today reported.

The women of "The View" were livid, particularly Joy Behar and Rosie O'Donnell. But even Barbara "Wahwah" Walters took issue with Trump's good fortune.

"I can't beweeve Donald Twump's Cawibbean chateau was weft intact," Walters began, "while Wichad Bwanson's was pwactically destwoyed by Huwicane Iwma."

"It isn't fair," Joy Behar shouted. "It's like the guy made a deal with the devil [the audience screams, "Yeah, the devil, the devil!"] and left his house untouched. What happened to Richard Branson's estate should've happened to Trump's place instead." 

"With Trump in it!" Rosie O'Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg screamed in unison.

[The audience went berserk, hooting and hollering: "Yeah, Trump in it! Trump in it!"]

At which point, Jedediah Bila jumped in and said, "No, just the house, not the President of the United States. That isn't right. He's still our president."

He's not my president," O'Donnell replied. "Anyway, we know he's in league with the devil--that isn't up for debate. It's a fact."

[Screams from the audience made the rest of the segment incoherent.]


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