Hamasshole dies in Gaza tunnel:

"This is my rifle, this is my gun . . ."

A member of Hamas' military wing died in a tunnel incident on Tuesday near the Israel-Gaza border in Rafah, according to the Gaza-based terrorist group.

The Hamasshole's name was Hani Shlouf--he was a mere lad of 24 years and was best known for saving water. He was identified by Ashraf al-Qidra, of the Hamas-run Health Ministry in Gaza.

The group's military wing said the scumcrumpet died after he carried out "a great and honorable Jihadi mission in one of the resistance tunnels," which it was later learned consisted of emptying out and burning the excrement from the Port-O-Sans in the tunnel. 

It was also learned that there was a misstatement by Ashraf al-Qidra due to his poor English language skills. When he referred to 'the resistance tunnels' he meant that Shlouf was resistant to having to burn the crappers but he did so like a good jihadi.

The military wing said that Shlouf came from the Shabura neighborhood in Rafah, where he was known to the local kids as the weird boy who beheaded the neighborhood dogs.

7 dead from collapsed tunnel

"He was a good boy," said his mother, Mrs. Shlouf, who works as a cashier in a munitions depot. "All he ever wanted to do is kill for Allah and look what happened to him. He's in a better place now with all those brown-eyed virgins. I hope he's having a good time . . . Allahu Akbar!"

Coordinator of Government Activities in the Territories Maj. Gen. Yoav Mordehai said Shlouf was electrocuted to death when his potty shovel hit a live wire connected to a reading light.

Since Operation Protective Edge began, (not to be confused with shaving commercials) dozens of Hamassholes have died in tunnel collapses and incidents which can be attributed to their breathtaking stupidity. 

Just last week, two idiot militants died in tunnel collapses and Islamic religious leaders are concerned that Paradise is getting low on virgin women--they may need to substitute. 


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