"I no cute cuddly face guy," Kim said. "I am Billy Badass of Asia, so you better watch out, Donald Trump, you loser dotard. I'm coming to get you."
The bold assassination of Kim Jong Nam in February carried out by two pros (as in 'prostitutes'), in Malaysia's Kuala Lumpur airport has been shrouded in mystery. South Korea media speculated the reason for the assassination, but nothing was certain.
A South Korean spy agency [Smurch] first said the killing was part of Kim Jong Un's 5-year plot. And a Korean University professor (Go, Fighting Spring Rolls!) investigating the assassination and had previously led a research arm of SoKo's intelligence agency [Smurch] told Gentlemen's Quarterly on Monday that it was all "part of a master plan."
"From the moment Jong Nam left Macau, the North Koreans tailed him," Nam Sung-wook told GQ. "They had a group on his airplane. As soon as he arrived at the airport in Kuala Lumpur, another group followed him. They kept that surveillance up while he slept. Even as Jong Nam entered the terminal, he was shadowed."
And just because the two assassin women were seen on CCTV at the airport as they smeared the banned VX nerve agent on Nam's face, and didn't hide their faces, doesn't mean it was sloppy work. It's possible Un wanted Nam's assassination to be seen across the globe.
"The only person on this planet who I don't want to see a scared of me is Dennis Rodman--guess what--he's my best friend and I'm his best friend," Kim said of the cross-dressing former NBA person.
"Pyongyang wanted to send a worldwide message by murdering Kim Jong Nam in this gruesome, public way," Nam Sung-wook said. "Pyongyang wanted to horrify the rest of the world by releasing a chemical weapon at an airport."
An ISIS spokes-terrorist responded: "Oh yeah. You think that scares the world? Try doing some of the same stuff we do. Behead a dude on social media and see what's really scary to the rest of the world, dude."
Nam added: "Jong Un wants to reign a long time and negotiate as a superpower. The only way to do that is to keep the world in fear of his weapons. He has a grand design and this is part of it."
The two whores, Siti Aisyah and Doan Thi Huong, are the only people in custody and are charged with Kim Jong Nam's death. They each claim that they were tricked into believing they were playing a harmless prank for a television show titled: "Kill a Kim."
They face the death penalty if convicted.
Reports have since come out revealing that Kim Jong Nam was being groomed to lead the North Korean government-in-exile and may have also seemed a threat to Kim Jong Un because he was older and didn't have body odor.
A report by Japanese magazine Nikkei Asian Review claimed Kim Jong Un had his uncle Jang Song Thaek executed via anti-aircraft gun after uncovering an alleged coup plot coordinated with the Chinese government.
The clueless people of North Korea believe Nam died of a heart attack, which, in a way, is true. It was the trigger of the heart attack they're ignorant about. Insofar as Uncle Thaek was concerned, the people believe that he was cleaning what he thought was an unloaded anti-aircraft gun and it went off accidentally.
|North Korea's god|
They also believe Kim Jong Un is god.
Kim Jong Nam was living abroad when he was murdered. He was arrested in 2001 while trying to sneak into Japan and visit Magic Mountain in Tokyo Disneyland. He fell out of favor with his dad, Kim Jong Il, who got ill and died in 2011. The younger fatty, Kim Jong Un, took the helm.
There were two additional attempts to assassinate Kim Jong Nam before the successful attempt. Once in 2010 and again in 2012. The regime eventually cut his funds and he begged his family to not punish him because he and the kids had "nowhere to hide."
Fat lotta good it did for him.
It is unknown where Nam is buried but Uncle Thaek is buried in parts in: Pyongyang, Nampo, Sinuiju, South Hamgyong, North Hamgyong, and possibly in Seoul.
Other parts of Uncle Thaek are still missing.