Saturday, November 26, 2016

Castro dead at 90, Kaepernick mourns

Dead at 90
Cuban dictator Fidel Castro, that cigar-smoking, Communist and murderous scumbag is finally dead at the age of 90. He ruled Cuba for almost 50 years with an iron fist since grabbing power in 1959. 

Castro has been spewing his anti-American garbage right up to the end to the delight of Che tee-shirt wearers and liberals throughout the USA. But his health has been declining for years and the devil finally came for him Friday. 

President Obama will be in mourning for years to come along with Colin Kaepernick, the ineffectual quarterback for the San Francisco 49er football team.

Castro wrote an opinion piece for a state-run media outlet and branded the Republican presidential primary race "the greatest competition of idiocy and ignorance" the world has ever seen. It make me proud to be a Republican--we must be doing something right.

Castro, the revolutionary and political leader/dictator was born out of wedlock on August 13, 1926. His biological father owned a sugar plantation and had sex with a servant who he eventually married. Fidel wasn't formally recognized by his father until he was 17 and his surname was changed to Castro from his mother's name, Ruz.

Like many communists who came to power, he led a wealthy, privileged childhood. He couldn't tolerate the existence of other wealthy people, as he saw them as competition, and decided that they needed to share their dinero with the poor so that everyone in Cuba, except for the elite, would be in the same boat named "Poverty." 

Castro's personal life was complicated. He is thought to have one son by a first marriage, an illegitimate daughter from another sexual encounter, five sons from a second marriage, another son by an unnamed mother, and a partridge in a pear tree. 

Unsubstantiated rumors state that Colin Kaepernick may be the illegitimate grandson of Fidel Castro, which is why he refuses to stand during the National Anthem and wears a Fidel tee-shirt. [Just kidding--he's just stupid--no relationship.]

Ex-patriot Cubans living in Cuba are celebrating today and Kaepernick takes a knee.



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