Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Subway's DeLuca dead while Jared rots in prison

Fred DeLuca, the co-founder of Subway Restaurants, is dead at the age of 67. Mr. DeLuca was diagnosed with leukemia in 2013 and his death came just a few weeks after Subway celebrated its 50th anniversary.

The chain's co-founder and DeLuca's long-time friend, Peter Buck, started the business with a mere $1000 and a dream. The original reason for deciding to open a sandwich shop was to help pay for DeLuca's college tuition and the money came from Buck to start the business.

Jared Fogle, a long-time spokesman for Subway and now a convicted child molester and child pornographer, has not commented on DeLuca's death, and prison officials remain silent on the issue. (Hopefully they will have more to say about Hillary's emails in the future.)

Although Fogle was only recently arrested, it was learned that Subway had apparently received a serious complaint about the child molesting scumbag four years ago, the company revealed on Friday.

The complaint did not specify its nature as to whether or not the incident was sexual, but it was deemed "serious."

The company now says that it regrets that it didn't act properly back in 2011 to the original complaint, and assures the fast-food devouring public that it has since strengthened it customer complaint and inquiry reviewing procedures.

Jared Fogle was not available for comment but his roommate, Bubba, says that he, in fact, has no complaints about his new roomie with the soft smile.


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