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Vladimir Putin is celebrating his 62nd birthday in the wilds of Siberia, about 200 miles from the nearest populated area. Rumor has it that he left his shirt at home.
In Grozny, Chechnya's capital, hoards of butt-kissers carried an enormous Russian flag through the streets. The flag was six and a half football fields long and made from the tears, dreams and dashed hopes of Ukrainian virgins as the peons marched in red, white and blue colors of Russia's tricolors. (It is rumored by the Obama administration that the United States stole our flag colors from the Soviets.)
Ramzan Kadyrov, Chechnya's president, claimed the crowd was 100 thousand strong as he lied through both teeth.
Russian news websites posted 12 ridiculous propaganda photos of the now wrinkled and atrophying Putin in various heroic poses. One photo had Putin depicted as Hercules, battling the Western nations that were disguised as snakes and monsters. He is also shown taming an ox bearing the symbol of Crimea. There was another photo of the Russian leader riding Obama like a horse, paddling his butt with his cowboy hat.
An ad along the sidebar of one website was for "Schtup-Her," Russia's version of Viagra.
While Obama's popularity rate has plummeted since taking office, Putin's is at 86%. Gee, I wonder why.
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In Grozny, Chechnya's capital, hoards of butt-kissers carried an enormous Russian flag through the streets. The flag was six and a half football fields long and made from the tears, dreams and dashed hopes of Ukrainian virgins as the peons marched in red, white and blue colors of Russia's tricolors. (It is rumored by the Obama administration that the United States stole our flag colors from the Soviets.)
Ramzan Kadyrov, Chechnya's president, claimed the crowd was 100 thousand strong as he lied through both teeth.
Russian news websites posted 12 ridiculous propaganda photos of the now wrinkled and atrophying Putin in various heroic poses. One photo had Putin depicted as Hercules, battling the Western nations that were disguised as snakes and monsters. He is also shown taming an ox bearing the symbol of Crimea. There was another photo of the Russian leader riding Obama like a horse, paddling his butt with his cowboy hat.An ad along the sidebar of one website was for "Schtup-Her," Russia's version of Viagra.
While Obama's popularity rate has plummeted since taking office, Putin's is at 86%. Gee, I wonder why.Tweet
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