Monday, June 10, 2013

What to Expect if You Meet a Liberal on the Road

You're on your first date and your date suggests a movie that he or she has been dying to see. You ask the name of the flick and you're told: Capitalism: A Love Story, by none other than Michael-I-Ate-The-Whole-Thing-Moore.  There is no question that you're dating a flaming liberal. You have several options:
a) tell him/her that you don't like going to movies on a first date but that you'd like to show your amazing weapons collection.
b) say you've already seen it but that it was written by a seditious Communist and it makes you break out . . . your weapons collection and clean them all.
c) run, run as fast as you can and don't look back.

That example was quite obvious but there are times when it is much less so. Here are a few more examples of how you can distinguish normal, decent people from liberals.


1. A liberal will state a feeling as if it was a fact. For example, "The Democratic party is the only real party for aaaalllll the people." They will emphasize words like "all" as if they have the market cornered on civil liberties. Of course that isn't the case. You can cite Democrats like George Wallace, Bull Connor, LBJ, Al Gore Sr. and the KKK until you're blue in the face and take on the facial characteristics of a Smurf. But a true liberal, true to his or her anemic beliefs will say something like, "That was then, this is now. Besides, the old GOP may have been for racial equality, but today's GOP is full of racists. It's only we liberals who really care." "If that were true," you might say, "then why are black treated differently by liberals than whites. Why are your expectations lowered for blacks, like Obama, than for whites? And why can't you tolerate black conservatives like Allen West or Dr. Ben Carson without attacking them?" So, a liberal feels he cares more for blacks, and other minorities, but the facts don't support that. In fact, blacks continue to suffer with higher crime rates than any other ethnic group in America. That's a fact.

2. A liberal will use name-calling, occasional lies, and think that by doing so, the argument is won. This is not unlike junior high school kids on the bus--he who speaks loudest wins the discussion. It isn't what is being said that matters as much as the impact the words have on the audience.

3. You can tell a liberal rally from a conservative rally in several ways. At a liberal rally there will be garbage all over the place when people finally go home from chanting "Hey hey, ho ho, yadda yadda's gotta go," which is what it sounds like they're saying to the casual observer. Conservatives are old fashioned--we clean up after ourselves because we've moved out of the basement by adulthood, and Mommy isn't going to pick up after us. If you question the protesters at a liberal rally, they tend to explain why they're protesting in vague, general terms, mainly because they only have a vague general idea of the issue they're rallying about. Liberals deal in the abstract, conservatives deal in facts. Conservatives can usually cite which article from the Constitution they believe is being ignored by Obama, for example.

3. Liberals defend every Obama's policy or decision, even when it's clear the policy or decision is bankrupting the nation. They will rationalize about Solyndra if they've heard about Solyndra from Fox News. They will talk about global warming as if it was an absolute fact and as if not using plastic bags will save the earth. They will dismiss Benghazi like it's ancient history and no Democrat did anything wrong--even with absence of facts.


4. Liberals will make things up as they go along. The IRS scandal is a good example of this. We still have much to learn about who gave the orders to target conservatives, but Elijah Cummings (Duh-Maryland) says "The case is solved," as far as he's concerned. Of course it is--he wants it closed so he declares it solved. Let's move on. Liberals always want to move on--they even have a liberal, nay socialist website Moveon.org. Soros funds it and we all know he's a socialist, but not with his own billions. Obama got elected on 'hope and change' in a country where there is no reason to change the basic structure, and every reason to believe that there is all kinds of hopeful things in our future. But liberals are never satisfied with the status quo because they tend to be a depressed lot. They display the kind of thinking that all they have to do if they're depressed, is move someplace else and things will be better. Simplistic. 

5. Liberals believe that being cool is more important than being correct. That is the main reason Obama got elected. He hangs with the likes of Jay- Z and that, to liberals, is incredibly cool. He plays b-ball. He sucks at it, but he plays. He sings and he's pretty cool at singing--he should have become a professional singer, not president of the United States of America.

6. Blame is a word that is foreign to liberals, except when a liberal blames George W. Bush for all the ills of this administration. Liberals are blameless for everything, including their recent history. 

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