Wednesday, January 9, 2013

How to Tell if You're a True Conservative

If you're confused about your political leanings because both sides occasionally sound like they're making sense, you may not know whether or not you're a conservative.  I know of no test to assess this question, but I've given the issue some thought (not too much, however, as my brain gets full quite easily). Below I have listed several situations that might help you sort it out, but these situations are not all the examples you can use--gastrointestinal problems that occur whenever a true liberal discusses his or her beliefs can often be an indicator of your being a true conservative. Having strong negative feelings about President Obama, laughing at the idiocy of our illustrious VP, and wanting to know the truth about Benghazi, Fast and Furious, and Nancy Pelosi's parties using military aircraft, should give you hope that you are a true conservative.  But just in case, here goes:

If you care less about how others view your home, but care more about how you see it, you might be a conservative. Liberals tend to worry more about outer appearances than what is on the inside--they just act like they care.

If you had a Christmas tree rather than a holiday tree, you are probably a conservative, but if you have your holiday lights outside with nothing celebratory on the inside of your home, you're probably a liberal. If you are Jewish and had neither, but still care about Israel, you're probably a conservative. If you think Palestine is a country and got a bad deal, you are a liberal. 

If you're a Freudian psychologist (where your instruct your patients to lie on a couch and just talk and talk for years and still nothing much changes, you're not likely a conservative.  But if you're an evidence-based psychologist, like a cognitive-behavioral shrink where results are actually measurable, you're probably a conservative--for some reason, facts matter to you. Liberals care about feelings over results; conservatives believe results are what matter most. 

If you believe that guns can be a tool of violence but it's stupid to blame the tool for how it's used, you're probably a conservative.

If you feel Joe Biden is the right person to be a heartbeat away from the presidency, you are definitely not a conservative--you are a delusional liberal.

If you believe that Benghazi was a criminal act and not an act of war, even though our embassies and consulates are considered American territory and attacking them is normally considered an act of war, you are a liberal; you are definitely not a conservative.

If, like Michelle Obama, you see the pomp and circumstance over Old Glory as excessive show and feel, "All this just for a flag?" you are probably a liberal.

If you believe even unborn babies have inalienable rights and should not be killed before they have the chance to express them, you are likely a conservative. If, like Obama, you believe that partial birth abortions are just peachy, you are definitely a liberal.

Being a conservative means that you're not pseudo intellectual, or pseudo cool, or out to impress the world with your pseudo moral superiority. It means you have the old fashion belief that our country is the greatest ever to exist on this planet, and our legal foundation, starting with the US Constitution, is the greatest document ever written. 

And if you have read this and decided that there are no doubts that you are a conservative, you have my vote.

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