getting his award--robhoey127.blogspot.com/

getting his award--robhoey127.blogspot.com/
Originally uploaded by Rob Hoey

Many years ago, I coached kids soccer. They ranged from ages 6 to 7 and were at a point in their development where the word "pass" did not yet exist. They got the ball, focused on the goal without looking around to see if another player was free, and ran for the goal until some kid from the other team would steal the ball away from them. Rinse and repeat.

But the junior hockey league, which I had the privilege to photo-shoot on December 30th, was a different story. Of course, the kids were older, more mature, more developed, and less selfish than the kids I coached, as they were fully aware that there is no "I" in team spirit (wait, there are two), but they played hard, they played fair, and they were good sports even when they lost both games. I have seen grown men cry over sports losses, as if their loss was of a loved one rather than some game. But these kids took it in stride--it made me wonder if they just very used to losing, but I think not--they played quite well.

When I coached the AYSO league (American Youth Soccer Organization), there was also an awards ceremony at the end of the season. Every kid on my team got a trophy, regardless of how terrible he or she played. There were no trophy-less kids. They had a trophy for best passer, quickest off the field for a substitution, best uniform wearer, best goalie haircut, and such. It doesn't get any more liberal than that. Nobody loses. Which is why we live in a nation (two, if you count Canada) of underachievers. Why work when you're going to get rewarded anyway? Why put in the effort when Joe or Sarah will do it for you? Not so with junior hockey. Only the top players and hardest workers got a trophy, and that's the way it should be because when everyone wins, they also lose.

Yes, there will be some unhappy kids whose efforts simply sucked or were nonexistent. Yes, there will be some pissed off parents who look at the efforts of their little Johnny as herculean, when in reality they were, at best, namby-pamby. But in the long run, these losers will have  an important life choice to deal with--whether or not they want to make the real effort only a winner can make, and actually earn an award for their effort, or simply let the other guy do all the work.  It's kind of like social welfare, isn't it, eh? 

In truth, by being realistic with them now is being kinder than giving them everything when they didn't earn it. That's how to mold a winner.

This is just my opinion--don't lose any sleep over it.